Tough Decision

i think i am going to give up being a Younglife leader.
i dont want to, but i know im not giving my all.

i feel terrible because i am never able to go to the school to meet kids because i work right through the end of the school day

and then when i can do stuff, its usually right after work, when im wore out and just wanna go home.
those kids are tiring.
i just dont have the energy to do it.

I find myself having to literally force myself to go to things and i do not think that its something that you should have to force yourself to do.
I should want to, and while i do honestly want to, i am usually just too tired to have the motivation.
i also really value my time i spend with my family it nights, i love that.
We dont do much, but i really love my family and i have been sacirficing that so much for YL.
i feel like i dont get the time to hang out with my friends as much either
i have something to do with YL at least two nights a week
i see dominique everyday at work, but the rest of my friends i rarely get to see very often.
And to be quite honest, i dont know how i feel about have to set an example.
i mean, i dont do things that are bad really. but i find myself second guessing everything i do thinking, oh is this ok for a YL leader to do? should i laugh at this movie, one of the high schoolers is right next to me.
its just too much
i dont know...i just dont think this is right for me at the moment.


ugh, i dont even know how to go about this. how to quit.
or even who i need to tell.
the area director Scott?
or just my club leader Bess?
would it be terrible to do this on the computer?
because i really want to end it like asap
and i have plans for the weekend so it would be difficult to meet up with someone.

ugh, just so much to think about